In The News

December 13, 2001-Comings and Goings

David just left for the office to tutor a bat mitzvah student. He was wearing his Temple Israel shirt & shorts. He figured if the president of his congregation could go to a funeral yesterday wearing shorts & a Hawaiian shirt, the dress code here was sufficiently relaxed to allow for shorts today. Of course, the president of the congregation had a good reason for his casual attire. He’d just come from work. He’s a high school maths teacher.

Reading the newspaper here is a daily treat. I try not to inundate you with the heavy issues that Australians deal with on a daily basis, but this one bears mentioning. Attorneys are meeting at Byron Bay, a seaside resort, to discuss surf rage & other “hot topics with surf elders.” So, do you have that picture in your mind? I envision an aged, pot-bellied member of the Beach Boys with his long gray hair blowing over a bald spot. This annual event is called the Law of the Surf Forum. “The panelists will examine the sociology of surfing and the ownership of surfing knowledge or culture, including claims to intellectual property in surfing.” How many oxymorons can you find in that quote? Today was also marked by the opening of a huge store called City Beach. It has a plethora of swimmers, boards, hats, & water related togs. There was excitement at the opening. Several famous surfers were there to sign autographs. I had to restrain myself. Life here is rich.

Hey, all of you who want to come to visit! There’s a $A 990 round trip fare from Brisbane to L.A. That’s $US 500. I think Qantas has it. Now, if you can get them to reverse it from L.A. to Brisbane, & get a good deal to L.A., you’re in business. I had a momentary thought of flying to L.A. & meeting people there, but David quickly squelched it. The deadline for reservations is Monday.

A Rabbi friend and his wife from Cleveland, will be here the end of January. They’ll arrive on the 29th & stay until the 31st. While in the Gold Coast, they will be staying at the same place we live. I’d sent them a list of hotel rates & they ended up here. It will be very convenient. They’ll be touring Australia & New Zealand. She's an actor who has also been directing the Jewish Community productions in Cleveland as well as other theater groups in the area. She’s very talented & will be performing one of her one-woman shows for the Jewish community on the Gold Coast.

Wendy has sold her house, again. This time there are no contingencies, inspection or otherwise. Here’s hoping.

We had the best beach walk so far this afternoon. The weather was warm enough & the water had warmed up a bit. The wind wasn’t bad, so we tried again. There was a huge pile of clean sand at one of the entrances to the beach. Near it was a sign that explained they were carrying out sand nourishment & re-stabilization. So, sand eats….? Any guesses? I don’t know what sand eats here, but the beach trek turned out to be a bit scary. We saw three different kinds of jellyfish washed up on shore. Maybe that was part of the nourishment. There was one kind without tentacles that we’d held a few weeks ago. There were some tiny ones that looked like large water bubbles until you looked closely & saw the tentacles. Then there was the big blue mean looking guy. It was probably what they call a blue stinger or blue bottle. We steered clear of them all & walked gingerly. Amazingly enough, the water was full of people enjoying the waves, oblivious to it all.

December 15, 2001-Ill Winds

To show you I’m not imagining things, the following article appeared in today’s paper: “Jellyfish Invasion Closes Beaches.” This referred to Cairns which is over 1000 miles north of here. Fortunately, the creatures aren’t found out at sea, so the Great Barrier Reef trips are still going. It’s been the worst season for stingers in recent memory. They proceeded to highlight the various kinds of deadly sea creatures marauding the area. The box jellyfish causes extreme pain & usually death; the irukandji jellyfish sting causes severe muscle pain, nausea, & headaches & requires hospitalization; the blue-ringed octopus causes minor, often painless, bites that can lead to respiratory failure; stonefish spines can cause severe pain & frantic delirium; sea snake bites are relatively painless but can cause breathing problems & requires hospitalization; & if stung by a sea urchin, you may need to have the spine surgically removed & need a tetanus shot. Surf’s up!

We had Shabbat dinner at the home of a young couple (40’s), who belong to the temple. It turns out they were married by a rabbi friend of ours in Newport Beach, CA. He was a classmate of David’s. The couple are still in touch with him from time to time. We talked about the jellyfish we saw onshore & our host immediately said that the wind was wrong & people shouldn’t have gone in the water that day. It’s the onshore breezes that will get you in trouble. He’s a surfer & is often on TV giving advice about the sport & weather conditions relating to it. I’m glad I found that out before I opened my mouth about the “intellectual” properties of surfing. He offered to give us lessons & we accepted. Then we found out he was getting up at 5:30AM the next day to give a lesson. Why so early? There would be an onshore wind, which is good only if you got there right when it began to blow far out at sea. That meant the wind was pushing smooth waves ahead of it. If you got there early, you beat all the critters that would be blown in with the breeze when it reached the shore later in the day. I guess the early surfer avoids the sting. I’m hoping for the right conditions sometime around 2:00 in the afternoon.

Ageism

Our host's 93-year-old father was at dinner. He’s a Hungarian refugee who came here in 1938. He was very proud of the dinner that was served. Our host did the cooking using his mother’s recipes for schnitzel (veal & chicken) & chicken soup. His father just recently left the hotel & restaurant business. A couple of years ago he was brutally beaten up at his hotel. He had a brain hemorrhage & needed reconstructive surgery. He wasn’t expected to live, but there he was with most of his faculties intact. I wonder if people live longer here? The average age for women is 78 & it’s a bit lower for men.

We went to a birthday party yesterday and were shocked to learn that the celebrant turned 78. His neighbor, also a temple member, will be 80 next week. They’re so vigorous & with it. It gives me hope there’s intelligent life in old age.

We saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said, “Dip me in honey & throw me to the lesbians.” I couldn’t see if a man or woman was driving the car. I guess it doesn’t matter.

Slang

I learned that a lot of Aussie slang comes from re-naming words or phrases using synonyms so that they are actually direct translations of what the people are really saying. One example is that if you say that someone’s name is Richard Cranium, he’s a Dick Head. Another type of slang is rhyming. Tomato sauce is often called “dead horse.” Of course, in Australia, they drop the “r” in “horse” so it sounds “bettah.” One curiosity is the use of the term “cobber” to mean pal or mate. They think the derivation of that one came from the Australian troops stationed in Palestine during WWI & II. The Hebrew term for friend is “chaver.” The Aussies couldn’t pronounce the guttural “ch” sound, so it came out like a “k.” It’s a common mispronunciation by non-Jews. The “v” in Hebrew is soft & easily confused with a “b” sound. There you have it. Chaver became cobber.

Toby