Highway Code of India

This was given to us in our orientation packet. Read it & weep.

                                              

 Article I: The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.

Article II: Indian traffic like Indian society is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must by accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: cows, elephants, camels, buffalo, pigs, goats, dogs, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, pedal rickshaws, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, handcarts and pedestrians.

Article III: All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat. This is the Indian driver's mantra.

Article IV: Use of horn (also known as the sonic fender or language of the road)

Cars: Short blasts (urgent) indicate supremacy, i.e. clearing dogs, rickshaws and pedestrians from path. Long blasts (desperate) denote supplication, i.e. to oncoming trucks, "I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die." In extreme cases this may be accompanied by flashing of headlights (frantic). Single blast (casual) means: " I have seen someone out of India's 1 billion whom i recognize," or "There is a bird in the road which at this speed could go through my windscreen," or "I have not blown my horn for several minutes." Trucks & Buses: All horn signals have the same meaning, "I have all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have no intention of stopping even if i could." This signal may be emphasized by the use of head lamps.

Article V: All maneuvers, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until the last possible moment.

Article VI: In the absence of seat belts (which there is) car occupants shall wear garlands of marigolds. These should be kept fastened at all times.

Article VII: Rights of way: Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.

Lane discipline: All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction of travel shall occupy the center of the road.

Article VIII: Traffic Management: It's a jungle out there. Apparent traffic islands in the middle of a crossroad have no traffic management function. Any other impression should be ignored.

Article IX: Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you. Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions such as in the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends at junctions and in the middle of villages/city center. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing-one inch in the case of bicycles or pedestrians.

Article X: Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash.

Article XI: Reversing: What's this? Not many drivers in India like to use this gear. It's against their driver's mantra.

Article XII: The 10th incarnation of God was an articulated tanker.