Sand In Our Shoes

December 18, 2001-Gritty Start
(photo: David & 4-wheel drive bus)

Today was our Frasier Island all day adventure. We met our 4-wheel drive tour bus at the dock. I didn’t even know there were 4-wheel drive buses. The guide didn’t have our reservations but we resolved that before we started. This took awhile, but we weren’t alone. There was a British couple whom we met on the catamaran we took to get here yesterday & their reservation also got lost. We enjoyed their company & even had lunch with them. They explained to us the Aussie pejorative for the British. They call them POMs. Evidently that means Prisoner of Her Majesty. Anyway, there must have been a stuff-up with our reservations at the ranger office where we paid & it had to be sorted out.

We learned that Frasier Island is a World Heritage Site. Others are the pyramids in Egypt & the Grand Canyon. Not bad company. The sites can be cultural or natural. Frasier tried for dual status because of the aboriginal settlements here. Since there were no aborigines left, they only got natural site status. That was enough to cause the logging that had gone on for decades to grind to a halt & for development to be closely supervised. The resort where we’re staying opened in 1991. When it was being built, all the plants that had to be moved for construction of the complex were stored in a nursery on the island & replanted when the resort was finished. This prevented any new species, seeds, or diseases from being introduced.

Sand, Sand

When we took off in the vehicle, we didn’t realize that just riding in it would be an adventure. The bitumen (paved) roads on the island are limited to those around the lodge. The rest of the roads are sand. Remember, this is a huge sand island. In some rare instances, the sand is overlaid with rubber matting for traction, but this is uncommon. Mostly, the bus bounced & jounced from front to back then rolled & careened from side to side. Sometimes it did this simultaneously. It felt as if you were in a giant centrifuge. At the start of the tour, the driver said that if anyone felt car sick, he would move them up front. It wouldn’t have helped. We were sitting up front. Fortunately, we escaped any nausea. That must have been because we were just concentrating on keeping our heads glued to our necks. My solution was to gently lean back in the seat & place my head on the very padded headrest. There it could jerk around to its heart’s content without danger of getting whiplash. I rather enjoyed the whole experience & thought of it as an enclosed roller coaster ride.

Our first stop was an overlook at a sand blow. This is a huge dune the wind carries across the land faster than the vegetation can regenerate. Ultimately, the sand buries all in its path. As the sand moves, it also uncovers what it had buried ages ago. This sand blow was called Stonetool because, as it has moved, it has uncovered aborigine tools. I was disappointed because I thought we’d be able to climb the dune. I guess that was naïve of me. Hundreds of tourists come there every day & climbing would destroy it.

We next headed for the Eastern shore. That’s where the sharks lay in wait for fish trapped by receding tides. We drove along the beach as the tide was going out & dodged waves as they crept up the sand. The beach was named 75-mile beach by Captain Cook, but it turned out to be only 56 miles long. It was still impressive. We learned a new game. It was called “count the waves.” When we came to an outcropping & had to drive around it, the bus had to travel closer to the breaking waves. The driver said that the 7th wave was supposed to be smaller than the rest. The problem was at which wave we should start counting. He did a masterful job in timing it & the bus got the minimum exposure to the caustic salt water. We also learned another game along the inner island roads. They are only one lane wide & drivers use the MVPTY system. That means that if My Vehicle is Bigger Than Yours, you give way.

We stopped at Eli Creek, a fresh water creek that empties into the sea. There was a boardwalk along the creek or you could actually walk up in the water & float down. We walked up the walkway & strolled down the creek. It was so clear that David took a photo of my painted toes through the water. Of course, the bottom was all sand. Our next stop was the Pinnacles. They’re multi-hued cone-like shapes eroded by the wind. The sand that comprises these forms got mixed with some of the iron rich red soil from the mainland & creates an impressive display of colors from yellow to gold to rust. But the rustiest thing on the beach was the hull of a long defunct passenger vessel, the Maheno. It had plied its route from Sydney to Auckland for years, when it was declared to be obsolete. It was sold to the Japanese in 1935, for scrap. The Japanese reasoned they could safely tow it home in July, since that wasn’t cyclone season. Their luck, there was a renegade cyclone that struck. The ship broke loose & was washed up on Frasier Island. It’s been there ever since. It will probably totally disappear in 50 years or so. It just occurred to me that the scrap metal from that ship could have ended up killing U.S. servicemen in the war that was yet to come.

One of the activities you can do here is take a flight-seeing tour of the island. Planes take off & land on the beaches, so as we traveled, we had to abide by the airplane warning signs & be wary. I’ve never driven on an active runway before. Due to high tide, we didn’t actually get to see any in action, although several were parked on the beach.

And More Sand

After lunch, we headed inland to the only rainforest in the world that grows in sand. Our guide pointed out the Macazamia plant. It’s a truly transsexual plant. If it’s in fertile soil, it’s female. If the nutrients of the soil become depleted, it changes to a male plant. I loved it! GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, & transgendered) ARE everywhere. Another tree I thought was interesting is the satanay or turpentine tree. It’s notable because of where it ended up being used. It’s impervious to salt water & bores that infest wood in the ocean. It was used to line the Suez Canal.

The grand finale of the day was a walk through the rainforest & a swim in a fresh water lake. I think this is the 6th time we’ve walked through a rainforest in Australia. There was a creek called the Invisible River that we followed. It was so clear you couldn’t tell there was water in it unless you saw a leaf float past or saw a ripple. It was awesome. The way to the lake was multiple choice. You could walk straight uphill for 1.6 km or you could take the bus to an area closer in & walk uphill 1 km. I chose the 1.6. It was quite a trek & I was glad to see that water when I got there. David went the bus route & joined me. Fortunately, we had equal wildlife adventures along the way. I was afraid he would see a dingo & I wouldn’t & vice versa. Unfortunately, neither of us saw a dingo, but we each saw a goanna. That’s a huge lizard. Mine was on the side of a tree & his was crossing the path.

Basin Lake was, as they say, clear as a bell. It had a sandy bottom (what else) but not a lot of things living in it. That suited me fine. It is very acidic so only little turtles & a tiny fish can survive. Some people had snorkel masks so they could see underwater, but there was nothing to see.

Someone asked if there were kangaroos on the island. The guide said they turn up from time to time. They swim over from the mainland at a point ½ km from the island. When they get to Fraser, they realize that none of the vegetation they like exists, so they swim on back to the mainland.

Our guide proved to be very entertaining. He told us a bizarre tale of an animal, a rodent of some sort, I think. The male is quite aggressive & doesn’t care if the female is interested or not. He just mates forcefully. We’d call it rape. This goes on for 12 hours after which he keels over & dies. The guide said it was every man’s dream to die after 12 hours of sex (not the rape part). I bet the women on the bus were wondering where to find a mate who could do it for 12 hours. That, or they were thinking that the male got his just desserts.

As we wended our way back to the resort, our guide proved that he was a very young, but very wise man. It was only then he told us about the four highly venomous snakes inhabiting the island & the non-poisonous green snakes that hang out at Eli Creek. High praise should be given to the training the rangers get for this kindness.

We got back to the resort at 4:30pm & didn’t even go to our room. We dropped our backpack at the pool & dove in. What a day!

Toby

Fraier Island

December 17, 2001-Multi-Tasking
(photo: Frasier Island Lodge)

I know that several of you have told us you enjoy reading about our escapades when searching for a laundromat. Well, this may not qualify as an adventure, but it is different. We got an early start this morning. The motel we’d pulled into last night turned out to be decent. It had a 4 star rating, but it was an Australian 4-stars. It would be a 3-star in the U.S. First thing we had to do this morning was email you all. That meant finding an Internet café. The woman in the motel office said we wouldn’t have any trouble getting online. There was Internet access at the local laundromat. It was called the Laundrynet. What a deal! I could do laundry & email you all! The problem was that it was the first day of our jaunt & I didn’t have enough laundry to justify a load. We had to be content with email alone.

Signs

We had a two-hour drive ahead of us, & the weather had turned rainy. We were in serious tourist country now & there was no shortage of billboards. One that appealed to us was for some product or service we were unable to identify as we sailed by. We did, however, catch the highlights. It read, “ Frogs with attitude & fresh Faeries daily.” I’d love to know what it was advertising. Any guesses?

Along the roadside were signs by the national highway department proclaiming that their work promised better roads for Australia. There was a green map of Australia with yellow lines showing the national road system. For a minute I thought it was a map of one of the Hawaiian Islands. There was a perimeter road, a north/south road, & a loop from Sydney to Adelaide going through Melbourne. That’s it folks! I can handle the fact that the Hawaiian Islands don’t have an extensive road system, but this is an island nation the size of the U.S. It’s a continent, for God’s sake!

Familiarization

We are staying at Kingfisher Lodge Resort on Frasier Island. The island, as I mentioned, is the largest all sand island in the world. In an attempt to preserve the ecosystem, vehicles are limited. We had to park the car on the mainland & take a catamaran over to the island. It was much like Mackinaw, but without the horse drawn vehicles.

The resort is tucked away in a rain forest. It’s a sprawling complex with a main lodge, a few swimming pools, tennis courts, hiking trails, several eateries, a few stores, & lots of covered walkways. Everything is built up on stilts sunk into the sand surface. Believe me, there’s nothing that might be under the walkway that I would want to tread on. Typical of Queensland construction, roofs are metal. All rooms have patios or balconies overlooking wetlands or ponds. It’s very pristine & dramatic with lots of vaulted ceilings, interesting rooflines, & accommodation to the natural setting. For example, there’s a large window in our bathroom that has a view of the great green outdoors. Fortunately there’s a privacy screen so that people passing on the walkway can’t see in. We can hear lots of frogs croaking away & I think that will be our serenade as we go to sleep tonight.

We took a stroll in the drizzle this afternoon to see the grounds. Everything seems to lead down to the beach which doesn’t look too appealing for swimming. It has a lot of debris from the forest that’s close to the shore. This beach is better than the one on the eastern shore though. That one has a deep channel between two sand bars where fish get stuck when the tide goes out. Sharks have learned that this is an easy hunting ground. They’ve been seen feeding in water that’s only knee deep.

On our walk, we heard more birds than we saw. But one in particular was easy to spot. It has yellow markings under its wings. I called it the one with the yellow armpits. I think it’s a kind of finch. We also saw lots of banksias plants. It’s the Australian national flower. What a sad excuse for a national flower in a country full of lush, colorful tropical plants. The flowering part looks like the business end of a toilet brush after it’s been used.

Dang Dingoes

We went to a dingo talk before dinner. The ranger said dingoes came to Australia with Asians. They were semi-domesticated wolves & served as companions on boats until the food ran out. Then they were eaten. They were either left behind or traded to the aborigines on the island & so were isolated for centuries. They’re the purest of the dingoes in Australia. Unfortunately, they’ve become less afraid of humans in recent years. If they see us as a food source, they’re more likely to be aggressive. People are cautioned not to feed them, not to go about alone, & to keep children in tow.

Amazingly, there have been only two killings attributed to dingoes. One was a baby in the outback & one was a 9-year-old boy who teased a dingo & then ran when it became aggressive. His 7-year-old brother was safe because he remembered his father telling them not to run from the dingoes. The parents were 2 km away at a campsite when this happened. As it turned out, the attacking dingo didn’t maul the boy. It gave him one bite. This was a question of dominance, not hunting for food. In the wild, a dingo will bite another dingo as a show of strength. Unfortunately, the bite severed an artery & the boy bled to death before his brother could get help. Everywhere you go on this island are warning signs about dingoes with instructions on what to do if you see them. David really wants to see a dingo.

We chose to eat at the buffet restaurant tonight. It was Australian night so the buffet had a lot of stuff we don’t eat. Tomorrow is South Seas night so there will be a lot of seafood & even more that we wouldn’t eat. I think we’ll go to the bistro tomorrow & order from the menu. We skirted the kangaroo & crocodile on the buffet tonight & stuck to the chicken, fish, & lamb. I never really enjoy buffets & usually rely on the salad table to see me through. This one was disappointing, but I managed to find enough to full me up. The frosting on the mud cake was passable & a nice consolation.

Tomorrow we will take a 4-wheel drive tour of the island & swim in a crystal clear fresh water lake. Hopefully, the weather will have cleared by then.

Toby

Escaping Paradise

December 16, 2001-On The Mark
(photos:Echidna Crossing,
Big Pineapple & Me)

Last night we tried the Korean BBQ restaurant we’d written about. Each table has a built in charcoal brazier with its own exhaust fan and pipe venting it out underneath the table. There’s absolutely no smoke or odor in the place at all. The menu was in Korean with an English description of the food. We only know the Korean names of the foods we like, so we ordered them by name. The server was impressed. We told her we couldn’t read Korean, but learned the names from the Korean written out in English letters on menus at home. Two of the dishes were disappointing. The pancakes were bland & the beef needed to be marinated before cooking. The sauces weren’t enough. If we go back we’d order differently.

We stopped at our downstairs refrigerator, the IGA store, & bought ice-cream bars for dessert later. We enjoyed them while watching an hysterical interview of Billy Connelly & Sting. They’re close friends & did a duet with Sting on the guitar & Connelly on banjo. Connelly went off on one of his tangents about Romans & their vomitoriums. He wondered if they had places to go to vomit during meals so they could continue eating, did they also have mastabatoriums?

Here’s an example of being so organized that it causes disorganization. Saturday morning I wrote a thank you note to our hosts for Shabbat dinner the previous night. We were walking over to the shopping center across the street & the library isn’t far. I decided to return a book that wasn’t yet overdue. I stuck the addressed & stamped thank you note into the book for safekeeping. The library closed at noon. Now, this was a Saturday. It’s a day when you’d think they’d have story time for children. It would be a day when students were available to do research & use the facility. Evidently there’s no such concern. You can guess what happened next. I slipped the book into the book drop. It wasn’t until I was home that I realized what I ‘d done. I wrote a note to the library telling the librarian what had happened & asking them to please mail the note. I put the note to the librarian into the book drop today.

Getting Set-Up

We left for Frasier Island after David’s adult education class today. He left for temple early & took our luggage in the car. I was to meet him there a few hours later when his course on Jewish Mysticism began. I do this every Sunday & take the bus to the temple. The plan was to leave directly from the temple for our trip. However, I had an assignment before I left the apartment. His cell phone needed recharging & that was my mission. He’d bought a card for that purpose that morning & tried to recharge the phone, but he’d failed.

Let me explain one thing to you. Cell phones here are only charged for calls made, not calls received. It sounds really great until you realize that calls run about $A 0.90 each plus a charge per minute used. We didn’t know it, but although our phone still had $A 25 left, the time had lapsed for using that amount up. When the phone notified us that it had “expired,” we thought it had run out of money. When you run out of time, you can’t re-charge the phone automatically. You have to call customer service & have them do it. One thing they needed to verify is that David was the owner of the phone. Well, he isn’t. We borrowed it from the Bruces & the temple is paying the charges. We called the Bruce’s home & got Janet. She thought it was her phone & gave us possible passwords. We called the phone company & they told us she didn’t own the phone. They hinted around & we guessed that it was Daniel Bruce’s. Daniel was at work, so we called Janet again & asked what his password might be. She called him at work & he made a stab at it. He was wrong. I was then told I needed his full name, address, driver’s license number, expiration date, & his birth date. After I got that information, I called the phone service back. They said that Daniel needed to call & that I couldn’t validate it for him. By then, I’d had it & told them to get some consistency in staff training. I called Janet once again & she said Daniel would take care of it after work.

We were half way to Frasier Island when the cell phone rang. Evidently, it was accepting incoming calls. It was Daniel. He’d tried to activate the phone & was told he needed the last 3 numbers that were called from that phone. It was really ridiculous, but I was able to recall that information from the phone’s memory. At last we were up & running! Now, do you really care?

Going

On the way to Frasier, we passed several things that gave me pause. There was a huge billboard advertising White Lady Funeral Home. It pictured a Caucasian woman wearing white. As I’ve said, aborigines are invisible here. We’d never see that in the U.S. We passed a “refuse tip” where garbage was dumped. A sign on a school said that classes “recommenced” in January. It impressed me that their students would understand. On the road side drivers are advised that “overtaking” should be done on the right. They would save a lot of black paint if they used the words “pass on right.” On our way through Maroochydore, we pulled over to take a picture of an echidna crossing sign. An echidna is related to a platypus, but has quills.

The two-lane highway ran between the sea & mountains. In one area, the landscape erupted into nine cone-like protrusions piercing the skyline at irregular intervals. This 20 million year old range is called Glasshouse Mountain. It reminded me of the formations of Meteora in Greece. The only thing missing were the monasteries at the top of the peaks.

David had been waiting all day to see one of the most famous sights in Queensland. It’s not known how Australians developed a proclivity for things huge & tacky, but the country is plastered with big replicas of common objects. There’s the Big Oyster, the Big Lobster, & the Big Fish. We wrote to you about the Big Rocking Horse in the Adelaide area. The premier giant object of note in Queensland is the Big Pineapple. It’s a tower of fiberglass sculpture unrivaled in its tastelessness. I mean that literally & figuratively, pun intended. It rises out of the lush rolling hills near Nambour & looms over the cars zooming past on the highway. It’s as the Sirens were to the sailors. Instead of enticing mariners to their death on the rocks, the mighty Pineapple lures tourists to their economic doom. Entry into the Pineapple is free of charge. They actually have a 3-level pineapple museum inside. The rest of the attraction is a humongous gift shop, restaurant, & pineapple farm. Theer’s a train tour of the farm & a petting zoo. The Pineapple is the only thing that is free. We arrived at closing time so were able to escape with our wallets intact. I don’t think I could have resisted the pineapple condiments or pineapple bedecked beer can holders.

We detoured to a town called Montville known for its artists & architecture. It was very picturesque & had a combination of Queenslander, English Tudor, log, & stone structures. Why it didn’t occur to us from its name, I don’t know, but it sits on top of a mountain. Since it was getting late, we just drove slowly through as we picked our way back down the narrow mountain road.

We wanted to get to Noosa in time for dinner. The son of temple members here has a restaurant there. We just missed him at his eatery, so we grabbed a bite & kept going. We’re now in Gympie at a Best Western. By the way, I don’t make up the names of these towns.

Toby

In The News

December 13, 2001-Comings and Goings

David just left for the office to tutor a bat mitzvah student. He was wearing his Temple Israel shirt & shorts. He figured if the president of his congregation could go to a funeral yesterday wearing shorts & a Hawaiian shirt, the dress code here was sufficiently relaxed to allow for shorts today. Of course, the president of the congregation had a good reason for his casual attire. He’d just come from work. He’s a high school maths teacher.

Reading the newspaper here is a daily treat. I try not to inundate you with the heavy issues that Australians deal with on a daily basis, but this one bears mentioning. Attorneys are meeting at Byron Bay, a seaside resort, to discuss surf rage & other “hot topics with surf elders.” So, do you have that picture in your mind? I envision an aged, pot-bellied member of the Beach Boys with his long gray hair blowing over a bald spot. This annual event is called the Law of the Surf Forum. “The panelists will examine the sociology of surfing and the ownership of surfing knowledge or culture, including claims to intellectual property in surfing.” How many oxymorons can you find in that quote? Today was also marked by the opening of a huge store called City Beach. It has a plethora of swimmers, boards, hats, & water related togs. There was excitement at the opening. Several famous surfers were there to sign autographs. I had to restrain myself. Life here is rich.

Hey, all of you who want to come to visit! There’s a $A 990 round trip fare from Brisbane to L.A. That’s $US 500. I think Qantas has it. Now, if you can get them to reverse it from L.A. to Brisbane, & get a good deal to L.A., you’re in business. I had a momentary thought of flying to L.A. & meeting people there, but David quickly squelched it. The deadline for reservations is Monday.

A Rabbi friend and his wife from Cleveland, will be here the end of January. They’ll arrive on the 29th & stay until the 31st. While in the Gold Coast, they will be staying at the same place we live. I’d sent them a list of hotel rates & they ended up here. It will be very convenient. They’ll be touring Australia & New Zealand. She's an actor who has also been directing the Jewish Community productions in Cleveland as well as other theater groups in the area. She’s very talented & will be performing one of her one-woman shows for the Jewish community on the Gold Coast.

Wendy has sold her house, again. This time there are no contingencies, inspection or otherwise. Here’s hoping.

We had the best beach walk so far this afternoon. The weather was warm enough & the water had warmed up a bit. The wind wasn’t bad, so we tried again. There was a huge pile of clean sand at one of the entrances to the beach. Near it was a sign that explained they were carrying out sand nourishment & re-stabilization. So, sand eats….? Any guesses? I don’t know what sand eats here, but the beach trek turned out to be a bit scary. We saw three different kinds of jellyfish washed up on shore. Maybe that was part of the nourishment. There was one kind without tentacles that we’d held a few weeks ago. There were some tiny ones that looked like large water bubbles until you looked closely & saw the tentacles. Then there was the big blue mean looking guy. It was probably what they call a blue stinger or blue bottle. We steered clear of them all & walked gingerly. Amazingly enough, the water was full of people enjoying the waves, oblivious to it all.

December 15, 2001-Ill Winds

To show you I’m not imagining things, the following article appeared in today’s paper: “Jellyfish Invasion Closes Beaches.” This referred to Cairns which is over 1000 miles north of here. Fortunately, the creatures aren’t found out at sea, so the Great Barrier Reef trips are still going. It’s been the worst season for stingers in recent memory. They proceeded to highlight the various kinds of deadly sea creatures marauding the area. The box jellyfish causes extreme pain & usually death; the irukandji jellyfish sting causes severe muscle pain, nausea, & headaches & requires hospitalization; the blue-ringed octopus causes minor, often painless, bites that can lead to respiratory failure; stonefish spines can cause severe pain & frantic delirium; sea snake bites are relatively painless but can cause breathing problems & requires hospitalization; & if stung by a sea urchin, you may need to have the spine surgically removed & need a tetanus shot. Surf’s up!

We had Shabbat dinner at the home of a young couple (40’s), who belong to the temple. It turns out they were married by a rabbi friend of ours in Newport Beach, CA. He was a classmate of David’s. The couple are still in touch with him from time to time. We talked about the jellyfish we saw onshore & our host immediately said that the wind was wrong & people shouldn’t have gone in the water that day. It’s the onshore breezes that will get you in trouble. He’s a surfer & is often on TV giving advice about the sport & weather conditions relating to it. I’m glad I found that out before I opened my mouth about the “intellectual” properties of surfing. He offered to give us lessons & we accepted. Then we found out he was getting up at 5:30AM the next day to give a lesson. Why so early? There would be an onshore wind, which is good only if you got there right when it began to blow far out at sea. That meant the wind was pushing smooth waves ahead of it. If you got there early, you beat all the critters that would be blown in with the breeze when it reached the shore later in the day. I guess the early surfer avoids the sting. I’m hoping for the right conditions sometime around 2:00 in the afternoon.

Ageism

Our host's 93-year-old father was at dinner. He’s a Hungarian refugee who came here in 1938. He was very proud of the dinner that was served. Our host did the cooking using his mother’s recipes for schnitzel (veal & chicken) & chicken soup. His father just recently left the hotel & restaurant business. A couple of years ago he was brutally beaten up at his hotel. He had a brain hemorrhage & needed reconstructive surgery. He wasn’t expected to live, but there he was with most of his faculties intact. I wonder if people live longer here? The average age for women is 78 & it’s a bit lower for men.

We went to a birthday party yesterday and were shocked to learn that the celebrant turned 78. His neighbor, also a temple member, will be 80 next week. They’re so vigorous & with it. It gives me hope there’s intelligent life in old age.

We saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said, “Dip me in honey & throw me to the lesbians.” I couldn’t see if a man or woman was driving the car. I guess it doesn’t matter.

Slang

I learned that a lot of Aussie slang comes from re-naming words or phrases using synonyms so that they are actually direct translations of what the people are really saying. One example is that if you say that someone’s name is Richard Cranium, he’s a Dick Head. Another type of slang is rhyming. Tomato sauce is often called “dead horse.” Of course, in Australia, they drop the “r” in “horse” so it sounds “bettah.” One curiosity is the use of the term “cobber” to mean pal or mate. They think the derivation of that one came from the Australian troops stationed in Palestine during WWI & II. The Hebrew term for friend is “chaver.” The Aussies couldn’t pronounce the guttural “ch” sound, so it came out like a “k.” It’s a common mispronunciation by non-Jews. The “v” in Hebrew is soft & easily confused with a “b” sound. There you have it. Chaver became cobber.

Toby

Virtually Real

December 11, 2001-Virtual Holidays

We just spoke to the kids in their respective homes. We wished them a Happy Chanukah & sang the blessings as they lit candles. It was really special. We also spoke to Alex as she opened some of the Chanukah presents from us.

Wendy told us about the daughter of a friend of hers is a bit over a year old & I asked Wendy what words she can say. Wendy mentioned a few, but added that she can sign a great many more. Her parents are teaching her ASL (American Sign Language) in order to make it easier for her to communicate. She can now tell them things she still can’t verbalize. I’m sure it cuts down on the whining, crying, & frustration. ASL has been used with chimps resulting in the chimps being able to carry on simple conversations with humans.

Xmas is hyped pretty much here, but it doesn’t seem to be as much as in the U.S. Maybe I can’t take it seriously without being inundated with the piped in Caroles, cheesy TV commercials, & sales people constantly wishing everyone Merry Xmas. Oh, & my #1 pet peeve in West Akron, the wreath around the neck of the carved Indian statue in the park on W. Market St. in front of Fairlawn School. Maybe they have a similar abomination here involving an Aborigine. We did see a Santa figure clinging to the back of a monorail. Out of his rear end fluttered a banner advertising the Oasis Shopping Center.

Virtually Homesick

We walked over to the Lone Star Restaurant for dinner & found what promises to be a good Korean one along the way. The Lone Star here is a clone wannabe of the ones in the U.S. It looks the look & walks the walk, but the differences sneak up where you least expect them. We were welcomed by our server who introduced herself by name & immediately asked for our drink orders. That’s so U.S. & not Aussie. She stooped down by our table to take our food orders. Still aping the U.S. model. I went to the rest room & there he was. The same shirtless, buff stud we have at home was staring down at me from his poster on the wall.

There was country western background music playing in the dining area & all of a sudden it got really loud. Out came the servers for a line dance that was closer to being a product of Ireland than of Texas. I don’t think they’ve done line dancing back home since the first year the restaurant was open. There was a birthday song at one table, & I was really starting to get homesick. David pointed out an old Ohio license plate as part of the wall decorations, & I was on my way to losing it. Then I opened the menu. Of course, they had pumpkin soup. They also had a combo of ribs & calamari. David opted for what turned out to be a delicious BBQ two slabs of lamb ribs. I had a burger. I asked them to hold the bacon, but kept the avocado. The tossed salad that came with David’s dinner wasn’t. It was served on a small oval plate. They had segregated the lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, & shredded cheese from each other as if they were afraid of miscegenation. There were no croutons since there was no stale bread left over from the yummy Lone Star signature bread loaf. Bread, as in most Australian restaurants, was extra. Yes, Dorothy, it’s OZ.

December 12, 2001-Virtuality

There was a surprise presentation at the Friendship Club today. David & I were given the award for being the best-dressed couple at the BBQ two weeks ago. The trophy was an aluminum billy tea can painted gold & mounted on a piece of wood with an appropriate plaque recording the honor. Affixed to the can with rubber bands was a picture of us in our authentic Aussie garb. It will hold a place of honor in our apartment here & later in our home in Akron.

Australia has just discovered ethanol for use in cars. The government cars will begin using it shortly & they see the general public grabbing the chance to join in. They’re all excited about what a boost this will be for the sugar cane industry. There’s concern with the need to plant more cane fields & the impact on the environment. They claim that ethanol has no ill effects on cars, will cut down on emissions, & is used in other countries, notably, the U.S. Did anyone here ever ask why it never caught on in the U.S?

Toby

O Chanukah

December 10, 2001-Holiday of Joy?

Last night was the Jewish community Chanukah celebration in the park. The orthodox congregation puts it on even though it’s billed as a “community” event. I suppose the community aspect of it comes from the presence of “his worship” the mayor, the deputy mayor, & the councilman. Neither our temple nor our officers has ever been recognized at the event as part of the community. David felt he had to be there to represent our congregation. The general take on things was that Rabbi Gurevitch, the orthodox (Chabad) rabbi, wouldn’t acknowledge the presence of a progressive rabbi. His people don’t even consider progressive rabbis worthy of the title. We were wrong. We were asked to sit in the reserve seats & David was introduced as the newly elected rabbi of Temple Shalom. The people from our congregation who were there felt good about it. It was the correct & courteous thing for the other congregation to do, but the orthodox rabbi would not do the introduction.

A young boy was the MC. He did a good job of keeping the speakers on their toes & the crowd laughing. His best introduction was of the councilman, Max Christmas. The MC said it was our unique pleasure to be able to have Christmas at our Chanukah celebration.

The highlight of the evening was the lighting of the first light of a huge menorah. The mayor & Rabbi Gurevitch rode to the top of the menorah in a cherry picker. There were lanterns affixed to two arms of the candelabra. The mayor lit the first light, the shamus, (guardian light used to kindle the other lights) & the rabbi lit the other one. Blessings were said & the festivities began.

There were hot dogs, falafel, & kosher fairy floss. I know that I’ve translated “fairy floss” as being what we call cotton candy, but why would they need to promote it as kosher? What about sugar & air isn’t kosher? They had all the condiments that go with hot dogs, except that the ketchup & mustard didn’t bare any markings of being kosher. This is most commonly shown by the letter “U” or “K” on the product. It really didn’t matter to me since the kosher hot dogs down under bare no resemblance to any self-respecting kosher hot dog I’ve ever eaten. There were some amusement type rides but the promise of a mechanical bull from the USA never materialized.

When we got home we lit our own borrowed menorah, said the blessings, & didn’t know what to do. We wanted to call home, but it wasn’t Chanukah there yet.

You Retired Beacause?

We were awakened shortly after 6:30AM, by a call from the wife of a man who is gravely ill. David visited at his home yesterday, but his wife called to tell him that the man had been taken to hospital. That’s one thing different here. People call early. In Akron, they usually waited until after 8AM. David stayed up & just went to the hospital before heading for the office. When he came home for lunch, he was beat. He’s worried the man will die & we won’t be able to go on our Frasier Island trip next Sunday. If he dies while we’re gone, there are people here who can do the funeral.

I keep reminding him this is one reason he retired. Another reason was the early morning call. Another reason is having to meet with kids preparing for bar/bat mitzvahs. Another reason is hoping he will have the right words to say when someone is in crisis. Another reason is having to go to meetings & pretend to be interested in insipid discussions. I could go on, but I think you’ve all heard me rant.

David has taken a very part time trade-off position here & put his unique signature on it.. He’s made it his own by involving his heart & soul in this place & these people. He can no more detach emotionally from them than he can breathe under water. Daniel once said he didn’t want to be a workaholic like his Dad. David’s answer was that he wasn’t a workaholic. He simply worked until the job was done. With this kind of job, there’s always something else to do: always one more person in need & one more to pacify & one more meeting to endure. So, at 3:30PM, he took his exhausted self back to the office. At 5:30PM, he will schlep to the beach for a conversion. You guessed it. The orthodox won’t let us use their mikvah for ritual immersion. Then he will do the conversion ceremony at the temple. After that there’s a board meeting. He will eat dinner……?

December 11, 2001-Home Free

Enough of my “whinging.” That’s whining in Australian. For those of you who were worried about David’s nutrition, he did manage to get home for an hour last night to eat dinner. We got a call at 8:13AM, to tell him that the man in the hospital died. The funeral will be tomorrow.

Our trip to Frasier Island is safe for the moment. Now we can look forward to getting away from our life in Paradise so we can go to a remote sand dune & be eaten by dingoes.

Toby

Are You Christmas or Chanukah?

December 8, 2001-Different Strokes

Even though I’m away from home, some practices die hard. I’ve managed to maintain my weekly manicure. Scoff if you must, but I find it much like the bar in the show Cheers. After awhile, everyone knows your name & it becomes a social time as well. Yesterday, the manicurist surprised me with a gift. She greeted me by wishing me a Happy Chanukah & presented me with a bag of chocolate candy. Last week, when they asked me what plans we had for Christmas, I explained that we were Jewish & celebrated Chanukah. The owner of the shop mentioned that the man who owned the IGA down the way was also Jewish & wasn’t decorating his store for Xmas. Then I had to explain what Chanukah was about. I was touched they remembered when it started & that it was my holiday. The second thing that impressed me was they remembered that when I was offered a raspberry flavored “lolly” I’d said that if it wasn’t chocolate, it wasn’t worth eating. Here, lollies mean candy in general. Nice folks.

Shabbat services were filled to overflowing. It was the end of term for religious school, which really threw me. The head of the school was on the pulpit handing out gifts & I figured it was for Chanukah. Then she started handing out end of year awards. The secular & religious school years are finished at the end of the calendar year here which makes sense since it’s summer. The children in the school put on a little play & sang a few songs. I found myself grinning as I listened to their sweet Australian accents in English & Hebrew. Their rounded tones & broad pronunciations reminded me of another era. It created a feeling of magic, formality, & sophistication. A warmth filled me as I realized that I was experiencing a Harry Potter Chanukah.

David told a story about a dreidel (spinning top used to play a Chanukah game) that wanted to be menorah (9-branched Chanukah candelabra). The moral was that we have to be who we are & be the best that we are. Unbeknownst to him, a menorah was being presented that night to the head of the ritual committee in honor of all the work he has done for the temple. When the menorah was unwrapped, we gasped. It was a traditional candelabra design with a dreidel as part of the arm of the candle in the center. The dreidel was a music box that could be wound up to play a Chanukah song. It was uncanny.

There was an elaborate spread served after services & I mentioned that they serve a lot more smoked salmon (lox) in Australia than we do in the U.S. They said they buy farm raised Tasmanian salmon & it runs about $A 32/kilo. That’s about $US 8/lb. I don’t know what lox costs now, but in 1983, for Daniel’s bar mitzvah it was $16/lb. It has to be more now. To me, that’s still dear. Ah yes, lox is served on buttered bread. Gag! We’ve never seen cream cheese & lox here. We’ve seen cream cheese on bagel, but that was when there was no lox. Another traditional treat here is buttered bread with sprinkles on it. You know the kind of colored dots that Dairy Queen dips the ice cream in? You got it. When I was a kid at camp, we used to make butter & sugar sandwiches, so I can’t throw stones.

December 9, 2001-Exceptions and Deceptions

We went to Shabbat lunch yesterdayat the home of the Portuguese woman who wanted to convert to Judaism then found out her family were Morannos (secret Jews in Spain/Portugal during the Inquisition). I was amazed at the number of nationalities represented among her guests. There were people from Australia, the UK, Scotland, Hungary, S. Africa, the US, Portugal, Austria, & Israel. The hostess was gracious but refused to sit at the table during lunch. She hustled about in the kitchen & busied herself with serving & clearing. She had hired help, but didn’t even set a place for herself at the table. It was very odd. Others encouraged her to sit down & David made a joke about not trusting cooks who don’t join their guests in eating the food, but it fell on deaf ears.

We left lunch at 3PM & decided to see the afternoon showing of The Last Castle recommended by an American who said it made her feel proud to be an American. I had no idea of what to expect, but Robert Redford couldn’t be too hard on the eyes. I was not disappointed in him, but the movie left a lot to be desired. It was a very contrived tale about a military prison revolt. I wouldn’t suggest it to anyone.

While strolling back to our apartment from the theater, we thought we’d try real American food. We’d seen a Lone Star Restaurant down the road & headed there. We hadn’t gone far when David saw a sign for Indonesian food. The Bli Bli Bali sounded exotic & the menu was appealing. When we went inside to tell them we were going to be sitting outside, we saw that all the tables inside were reserved. We later found out that the restaurant had just been written up in the paper & we were lucky to get any seating at all. The food was good, but unremarkable. The spices have been Australianized, & David needs to order it much spicier if we go again. One item on the menu caught my eye. Even though I didn’t order it, I still wonder about “desiccated chicken.” The tables were very close together so we struck up a conversation with the couple next to us. They were retired now, but had lived in Singapore for three years & had traveled to Bali often. They had children living in L.A., & had been throughout the U.S. They told us they wanted to travel overseas as much as possible while they were still relatively young. We laughed & shared that our philosophy was the same & here we were in their country.

One of the peculiarities about living without daylight savings time is that we always think it’s later than it actually is. It’s dark earlier here during the summer than it is at home. I’m used to it being summer in December, but haven’t adjusted to it being dark at 7PM. We were startled to learn it was only 8:30PM when we finished dinner. With most of the evening still ahead of us, we decided to walk to our favorite ice-cream/gelati place. We detoured out of our way so we could pay homage to the miracle next door. We walked along the Pacific for a time & were once more impressed with the power of it all.

Our path home took us past what had become a fixture in the neighborhood. Sporadically, & for a week at a time, a tent called the Jesus Tent of Miracles is erected. We’ve been curious about it every time it has appeared. David has memories of his teen years in Miami, Fla. where such tents were fairly common. Word had it among the teen-aged boys that the place to pick up girls was outside one of these revival tents after a prayer meeting. It was rumored that young girls were moved by the holy spirit & didn’t know what to do with their feelings of ecstasy. They were easy pickings. As we stood outside the raised flaps, we observed many women were rocking back & forth, swaying on their feet, falling on the ground, & dancing to music heard only in their own heads. One in particular was amazing in that she could reel as if drunk, fall to her knees, & yet not spill a drop of the liquid that she drank from a cup held tenuously in a flailing hand. As we listened, the preacher droned on in a most uninspired way. The healing service took place at 10AM, so this was just the prayer meeting. The minister frequently used the phrase, “walla walla wunga” & got a loud reaction from the crowd of about 30. It was puzzling & when a man came from the tent to stand next to us, this is the conversation we had:
Man- Are you Christians?

Me- No Long Silence Me- Are you with the preacher?

Man- No, but he is a close friend.
Long silence

Me- What does “walla walla wunga” mean?

Man- The preacher had a traditional church in Seattle for 25 years. He realized that he had become distanced from his congregation & especially his family. He couldn’t tell his wife or children that he loved them. All of a sudden, the only words he could say were, “yabba dabba doo.” We thought that he had lost his mind. Do you know what “yabba dabba doo” means?

Me- You mean like the Flintstones?

Man- No, from the song. Me- Oh, the one that goes, “Yabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba said the monkey to the chimp?”

Man- Yes. Do you know what it means?

Me- (Thinking of the other words to the song in my mind) I love you?

Man- Exactly! That was the only way he could express his love for his family.
Me- So ‘walla walla wunga” means…..?

Man- The same thing. It is what comes over him when he is spreading the love of God.

He invited us into the tent at that point & we declined. No pressure. He left us alone. I have to say that my overall feeling on leaving was that I was perplexed. It’s a phenomenon I truly don’t understand. The preacher was certainly undynamic. I wonder what the results would have been if he was charismatic. Does it require dynamism to elicit the desired result from the audience, or is it pre-programmed into their expectations?One speaker who promises to excite is scheduled for a time when we’ll be away.

The Friendship Club will have a Jewish judge speak to them in January. He is a Queen’s Council & I’m told it’s a very high position for a barrister to hold. His talk, however, will be about his experience as a Dunerra (sp) Boy. The Dunerra was the name of the ship that transported children from England to Australia during the Blitz. In an attempt to save their lives, they were sent by their parents to a safe haven. When they arrived in Australia, they were placed in what amounted to commodious concentration camps. Among these children were Jewish children. One of the blots on Australian history is that, after WWII, many of the children were given to Australians to adopt & falsely told their parents were dead. Several of them began investigations as they grew to adulthood. It has been quite a scandal.

Toby