New Customs

September 17, 2001-Before

David doesn’t have a cold, laryngitis, or the flu for Rosh Hashanah. That alone is amazing. Of course, he did have a funeral today. Wouldn’t you know?

He said that funeral practices are different here. The chevre kadisha makes all the arrangements. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a group of people who volunteer to wash and prepare the body in the traditional manner, dress it in shrouds, and stay with it until the funeral. Coffins here are shaped like the old-timey ones you see in Western movies. They taper at the foot. There are no vaults in graves here. Straw is placed at the bottom, the coffin is lowered, and more straw is placed on top. The mourners don’t cut kriah (cutting of a black mourning ribbon symbolizing the rending of garments). They don’t go back to the home of the mourners, nor do the reform Jews sit shivah. Sivah is like visitation, but takes place after the funeral. Most orthodox here sit shivah a maximum of three days.

David is so much more relaxed this holiday season. After the havdalah service (separating the Sabbath from work week) Saturday night, the men opened the sliding wall between the sanctuary and social hall, changed the Torah cover and ark curtain from blue to white, and set up 5-6 rows of extra seating. Voila! They were ready for the High Holidays. Just a note of difference: when taking the covering off and putting it on the Torah in the States we say that we dress and undress it. Here they strip it.

It's common for people to give money to a temple to honor someone or an event. Sometimes a needed item is purchased with that donation. Often a plaque is placed on that object . There is such a plaque here, but I was more interested in the location of the plaque than the name on it. Someone donated money so their name could be on the electric hand dryer in the ladies room. I haven’t checked out the men’s room.

David’s tension may rise when he starts to practice blowing the shofar (ram’s horn) for tomorrow. The man who usually does it is stuck in Seattle until Wednesday. David has done it before, but the shofars here are hard to blow. He almost took his from home, but I guess my shoes took precedence.

During

We’re pretty much used to driving on the left. Now is the time for us to be diligent. Confidence can lead to errors. Still, it’s surprising to see the number of dogs who seem to drive cars here. But just when we think we’ve got a handle on the culture, someone throws a foreign word out. David visited a man in the hospital today (they do say “the” hospital unlike the British who say “in" hospital). The man had pneumonia. His wife said that she had the “wog” and then gave it to him. That’s why he got sick. Nasty, that wog. Don’t know if they have a vaccination for it. Speaking of vaccinations, we seem to have missed flu season. We asked at a chemist when we saw signs urging people to get flu shots. We forgot that their winter is over.

We got the news that a friend's daughter had a baby girl. Went to the card shop and discovered they have lots of cards for “mums” but not “moms.” They also have Xmas cards and decorations out. They’re worse than we are in the U.S. It isn’t even Halloween. Oh, I forgot, they don’t celebrate Halloween.

I picked up my round holy day challah (braided bread) at Goldstein’s Bakery this morning and searched some more for a brisket for next week. The butchers seem to have heard of that cut of meat and congregants say it’s available. The thing that puzzles me is the question that the butchers pose each time I ask if they have brisket. They want to know if I prefer it with or without a bone. Is there a meat maven out there who knows what a bone-in brisket is? It also seems that all the meat markets get brisket on Tuesday.

After

We’re now home after services. Things went well. David used the Falwell/Robertson statements as a jumping off point for his sermon. He blasted those of any extreme fundamentalist persuasion (Jew, Christian, Muslim, etc.) who blame our woes on those whom they believe defy God’s law as they see it. David emphasized that these zealots ignore any notion of free will. People came up to me to say that it was as if he was speaking directly to them. Since our music is simple and David’s sermon was eleven minutes long, services were out in one hour.

There was a newcomer tonight. He is new to Australia from Atlanta. He knows several people we do in the U.S. His wife was home with their 19 month old. She’s an Aussie who grew up in the outback and wasn’t raised Jewish. The interesting thing is that her mother’s side of the family is Jewish and it is likely that her great-grandfather was a rabbi in Poland. I introduced him to the other young couple at temple. Hopefully, they'll join.

We were able to speak to Daniel, Vikki, and Wendy. Alex was asleep. It’s so hard to time calls. We exchanged New Years greetings and caught up with the news. We also got to speak to Wendy’s new girlfriend. She sounds lovely.

I used my library card and it worked. The systems here are the same as at home. I will settle in with my junk reading and try to forget reality. I cry intermittently and find it to be a relief. I have had a tight feeling in my chest. There’s a pressure there as if I have a light weight sitting on it. It goes away if I’m distracted or cry. Walking seems to help too.

Toby