I Kid You Not

February 28, 2002-Kangaroo What?

I just found out what business Murray Martin is in. His wife, Evelyn just called to see how I’m doing. She also invited us to lunch next week & to a movie this weekend. People are beginning to realize we’re leaving soon. Anyway, back to business. She mentioned that Murray’s website was down & they were looking for someone who could help them with it. I asked what the site was & she told me that it was for his business. He sells gift items made from kangaroo scrotums. What do they make from kangaroo scrotums? They make key rings, change purses, etc. She said the skin is very soft. I bet it is. All along I thought that he was retired. I wonder if David could do something interesting like that when we get home. It beats real estate. You have to love a place where they make tourist trinkets from the scrotum of their national symbol. How could I make this up?

Speaking of scrotums, the Governor General of Australia, The Reverend Dr. Hollingsworth, is in the midst of a major Anglican Church scandal. He used to be head of the Church & now, in the prime of his political career, is embroiled in child molestation cases. He wasn’t a molester, but had knowledge of the incidents that occurred years ago when he was head of the Church. His comment to the complainant at the time of the molestations was that he couldn’t deal with that as he was overworked & needed to go on holiday. He never addressed the issue. The children grew up & are now pointing fingers. The press is screaming for his resignation & Prime Minister, John Howard, is being called upon to fire him. Neither has happened. Enter stage right, Queen Elizabeth II. She is here for CHOGM (Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting). Guess who got to meet her plane? G.G. Hollingsworth was there with bells on. There was speculation that she would sack him right there on the tarmac, but she played the queenly part graciously. The G.G., however, made a fatal error. He touched her. This was front & center in all the media. We have seen the “touching” from all angles. It’s probably been given more footage & replay than the film taken at the grassy knoll in Dallas on Nov. 22, 1963. It seemed innocent, but “gasp," he put his hand on her back as she walked to her car. It wasn’t a mauling or a grope. It was only his fingertips that barely connected with the fabric of her jacket. I would guess she didn’t even feel it. But he touched the Queen! We’ve now been subjected to endless rules of etiquette regarding royal touching & queenly comfort zones. The rule is simple. Never touch the monarch unless that monarch initiates it. Evidently Prime Minister Keating touched the Queen in 1992. I know this because a picture of the incident has been on the front page of the paper. Imagine what our presidents would do without back slapping, hugging, pecking on cheeks, & various forms of stroking, ego & otherwise.

I managed to cover my nose well enough so I didn’t create havoc when we met the Bruces for dinner last night. They were kind & didn’t make any Porky Pig jokes. I’m laying low today. I want to keep it uncovered for the day. I’ll have to put a bandage over it tomorrow for services & Sunday for adult education & the movies. It’s all prickly looking with the ends of the stitches sticking up. It looks like stubble & feels like peach fuzz on steroids. I would guess there are 10-15 stitches. It’s swollen on the side where the spot was removed & they put the flap over to cover it. I’m hoping that shrinks. There’s also a raw spot on the bridge of the nose. I hope it isn’t from a popped stitch. I’ll find out more on Monday when the stitches are removed.

March 1, 2002-Marching On

I can’t believe it’s March already. We packed the first box to go home last night. It’s really exciting to see it sitting in the hall ready to go to the Post.

There was a radio interview relating to the Gay/Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney. It takes place this weekend. The parade will be televised on Wed. Ian Roberts was interviewed. He’s a former rugby icon who stands 6’4” & weighs about 225 lbs. He came out while playing rugby & is now serving on the sports judiciary. Mark Tewskbury who’s also helping to launch the Mardi Gras joined him for the interview. Tewksbury was an Olympic swimmer for Canada. He’s here to promote the Gay Games that will be in Sydney in the fall. That will be a $100 million event for the city. The interviewer was perceptive & gave each man a chance to tell his own story. It was also a great promotion for the events.

I just got back from the grocery store. I thought I’d take my bandaged nose on its first daylight public outing. There’s a small area on the tip that I can’t quite get covered. It was really funny. A little girl was trying to get her mother’s attention & staring at me. Before the mother could be embarrassed, I jumped right in & asked the little girl if she was wondering what had happened to my nose. She quickly nodded her head. I told her I had a sore nose because I didn’t wear sunscreen or a hat when I was in the sun. Her mother & I reminded her of how she has to take care of herself when she’s in the sun. I bet that’s one littlie who never goes out without a slip, a slap, & a slop. Nothing like an object lesson.

Toby