Lobster Fest

March 13, 2002-Do No Harm
(photos:Female on left male on right,
Perth,
Melbourne Hotel)

David is going through his evening ritual. Each night that we stay in a new hotel he fiddles with the air conditioner to see if he can re-direct the airflow away from my side of the bed. So far he has failed, but I love that he tries. Tonight we’re back in Perth & staying at the Melbourne Hotel. It’s a boutique hotel with only thirty-two rooms & is housed in a completely restored 1890’s building. I’ve mentioned that wrought ironwork is popular on buildings in Australia. They fashioned the steel from old ships into elaborate balconies & trim. Our room opens onto that very balcony. This particular hotel has chosen a Louisiana theme to match the old exterior.

Our day started in Geraldton at the Brolos Live Lobster Factory Tour. As we approached the building, David reassured the lobsters that we meant them no harm. For those of you who don’t know, our version of keeping somewhat kosher is that we don’t eat pork or shellfish. We did find the tour fascinating. This factory only handled rock lobsters that were to be shipped live. The rejects were put in fresh water to drown & sent to a processing plant to be cooked & prepared to ship out as processed lobster. Only 30% of the lobsters qualify to be shipped live. Of the live ones, 87% go to Asian markets. Because of over-harvesting their waters, Asia has depleted its resources & has to import. Even though a female will produce from 100,000 to a million eggs, most don’t survive. It takes six years for a lobster to mature & the Asians weren’t patient enough. There was one tank with twenty-year-old six-pound lobsters destined for China at $200 a pop. The average lobster runs about $60/lb with the wholesale price at $17.50/lb. Rock lobsters are a $300 million business in Western Australia. This particular plant did $50 million/year. All figures are in U.S dollars.

The lobsters (also called crayfish) arrive fresh off the boat. The dock is right next to the factory conveyor belt. They’re sorted by size, quality, & color. They’re only permitted to have three legs missing (not all on one side) & cannot have cracked shells, eggs, or be pregnant. They then go into holding tanks for three days of R & R to recover from the ordeal of being trapped & transported. Because ocean water off the coast of West Australia is so unpolluted, it’s used in its natural unfiltered state to keep the lobsters fresh. It’s pumped into the tanks directly from the sea & pumped back into the ocean from those tanks. Tanks are monitored for any lobsters that later die (they’re cannibalistic) or become weak or damaged since they change the oxygen level in the water. Fisheries inspectors come at will to supervise the fishermen & factory.

To prepare them for shipping live, the lobsters are given a three-minute bath in the frigid water of the stun tank. This puts them into a state of hibernation. They’re then packed in a Styrofoam cooler, covered with pine shavings & ice, & shipped to their destinations within thirty hours. It takes Federal Express three days to get a parcel from Eastern Australia to Ohio. When delivered, they’re given a warm water bath to wake them up. There’s a 99% survival rate.

Lobster fisherman work from November to June 30. That’s when it’s not breeding season. They have a major investment in their boats. Fully equipped with radar, lobster pots, seawater hydration systems, etc. the boats could sell for up to $3.25 million. They move out to live on islands off the coast & take their families with them. There are grammar schools on the islands, but when their children reach high school age, fishing families have to decide whether or not to trade their licenses in for offshore rather than deep sea ones. At that point they might move into town.

We got an object lesson in telling the difference between males & females. It’s obvious once pointed out. The female has claws under her tail & the male has two penises. Need I say more?
As a non-cooker of lobster, I’d like to give you all a cooking tip. The definitive word is that lobster should NEVER be cooked live. Aside from being extremely cruel, they convulse, lose their legs, & are tougher. The correct way to prepare them is to drown them first. If put in fresh water, they cannot survive. I guess it’s the lesser of two evils, but given that they’re not going to come out of our food chain alive in any case, drowning is preferable.

More Gems

A by-product of the tour was that I picked up an invaluable list of how to treat whatever sting or bite we might get whilst visiting Australia. The list includes jellyfish, stonefish, snakes, & insects. By the way, lobsters carry bacteria that can make you very ill. It’s carried on their shells. We left the factory with our heads reeling with lobster lingo & lore & went for a look at the “hidden gem” of Geraldton, Marine Drive. Much to our surprise, it was across the road from the industrial park. The Indian Ocean was obscured from view by dunes. I think it would have made a better marine stroll than a drive. We happily left that burg behind us & started to go south towards Perth.

We came across the Greenough Historic Hamlet. It’s a preserved village founded in the 1860’s. Some buildings were built by ticket of leave convicts (parolees). The schoolhouse was used until 1951 & churches are still in use. It was interesting to note that, although very old by West Australian standards, it parallels our Civil War. At first I was surprised to see photos of the early settlers, but then remembered Matthew Brady.

We weren’t pleased to note that the timing of our travel meant we’d be back in Dongara, that sleepy town, for lunch. It ‘s amazing how little it takes to make us happy now. Perhaps it’s because we’ve lowered our expectations to meet the reality around us. We were curious about the Priory Lodge, a convent turned hotel & restaurant. It’s a work in process & needs a lot more processing before it will work. We ordered sandwiches & got typical fare. They were served on overdone toast, spread with mayo, salted, & somehow Cajun in Australia means tasteless

Our ride continued past miles & miles of burned out land where blackened landscape on one side of the road contrasted sharply with the lushness of the other. We eventually emerged in Perth to be greeted with such an American phenomenon that it totally startled us. We were stopped at a red light when a young man emerged from out of the blue & started washing our windshield. Although this has never happened to us in the States, here we were in Australia having an authentic American experience. He didn’t look sinister nor did he ask for money, but we did pay him.

We settled into our hotel & started to think about dinner. It seems I just finished telling you about lunch. Fodor’s Guide Book recommended Uncle Billy’s in Chinatown. It was within walking distance, so we stashed the car & hoofed it. Along the way we found a happening area called Northbridge, which is where we’ll probably eat tomorrow. Billy’s food turned out to be mediocre at best. Watermelon was the tastiest part of the meal & we had to eat it Southern style, with salt. Ours was the only table that had no Asians. There was a large round table with about eight diners. The Chinese people there spoke to each other in Chinese & to the Caucasians in Australian accented English. I realized it was a business dinner when all eight of them rose at once, leaned across the table, & exchanged business cards carefully offering & accepting the cards using two hands. Our authentic Chinese meal ended when David asked for the bill. The Chinese server said, “No worries.”

David is watching TV & waiting for me to finish this. We tried to watch last night, but the only reception we got was a BBC program that was so anti-American & pro-Arab we had to turn it off. It tried to validate & offer rationales for the 9/11 attacks. It was shocking to see something of that nature at this time. Being in a Commonwealth country we occasionally do get to see the true colors of Britain. Despite Tony Blair’s support now, they were usually not on the same page as we when it came to the Middle East.

David usually reads the books on services provided by the hotels. He learned that once a week they check the fire alarm system here. That would be tomorrow morning. Hopefully, it will be done after the 10 AM check out time.

Toby